I made up a band who cautiously plays rock. Actually, they don't play rock, they play pebble, because they don't want anyone to get hurt. They say stuff like, "I might destroy this guitar with provocation from the audience!" and "I'm LITTERING! Take that, system!" and "You guys are probably the fifth best town we've been in...probably."
This is a song I wrote for them during school hours. Sing it like a punchy, faster version of "Standing" from Once More, With Feeling!

When you think about it,
Summer ain't subpar
Lots of girls looking for guys
Who rock moderately hard

Relatively attractive girls
Dig guys with guitars
Who maybe write sensitive songs
and ROCK MODERATELY HARD

MAOW MAOW
I rock moderately hard
MAOW MAOW
With my regulation-size guitar

Guitar on my back,
I walked into a bar
--well, maybe a Starbucks--
$20 on my credit card.

I said to a lady,
"You like acoustic guitars?
And wanna go out with
A sensitive(ish) rockstar?"

A tough walked up to me,
And said, "That's MY girl, retard.
And this is Seattle.
Where we rock MODERATELY HARD."

MAOW MAOW
He beat me moderately hard
MAOW MAOW
With my surprisingly painful guitar

I walked home through the suburbs, broken guitar on my back
Beaten and bloody and tarred.
But I went to bed with a smile that night,
'cause I dented that tough's hybrid car

MAOW MAOW
I rock moderately hard
MAOW MAOW
With my regulation-size guitar